John Oliver did a sendoff for George Santos, with a request from Oliver that Santos be given the reality show he so richly deserves.
The host talked about the recently released House Ethics Committee report that detailed campaign spending on Ferragamo shoes, Botox injections and OnlyFans.
"If you're going to do something you're not supposed to do, that is the way to f*cking do it. Looking good. Going out. And getting off on gig economy porn. How am I supposed to be mad about him spending campaign funds vibing out on diva shit?" Oliver said, chortling.
In an interview with Monica Matthews on X-Spaces, Santos attacked the House release, saying that the rest of Congress is just as bad or worse as he is. (At least on the GOP side, we know he's right! Go for it, George!)
"I mean, within the ranks of the United States Congress, there's felons galore, there's people with all sorts of sheisty backgrounds, and all of the sudden George Santos is the Mary Magdalene of the United States Congress, We're all gonna stone this motherf*cker because it's just politically expedient. Right? Now, no pun intended, I was born on Mary Magdalene's Day, which is July 22nd, which I find it to be absolutely ironic," Santos said.
Oliver said every word "is a jewel, and it's impossible to pick the sparkliest. First, it's good that he said 'no pun intended' because 'no pun detected.' Second, that's not irony, that's a coincidence. And finally, not to be a total astrology girl here, but it makes so much sense that he's a Cancer-Leo cusp. Prone to fits of emotion. Loves to be the center of attention and recently hard-launched a husband. That shit is textbook!"
"Just think of everything he packed in during his brief time on the national stage, like when he implied that his young niece had been kidnapped from a playground in Queens, possibly in retaliation for his comments about China. Or the '9/11 claimed my mother's life,' even though she wasn't even in New York at the time. That kind of messiness isn't just 'friends of' behavior, it's full-on Housewife!"
Oliver said Santos "delivered hard" for us.
"And I don't want him to be in my government, and I don't want him to sit next to him on an airplane, but I definitely want him in Andy Cohen's menagerie of damaged human beings."
